Note to my pride…*

Don’t take this personally, but you’re asked to politely step aside and let me endure some “humiliation”…

I know you protect me from so much pain by telling me all sorts of excuses … but what you don’t get is that you allow that pain to grow inside me  because I become too proud to show it, too proud to let it tear me to pieces so that I can put myself back together, with pride…

So, I will put you in a room and leave you there until I can handle this…

I will leave you there despite the enormous amount of pain, fear and humiliation I feel writing this…

I will leave you there hoping that by stripping from you, I shall be protected by nothing but my humanity and that it shall suffice…

I will leave you here hoping and praying that I will find you intact if my pain gets too much and I run back to you for protection…

Please unfold from around me now… but also please be there ready to wrap around me before I disintegrate and heal me.

*Written on March 13, 2011

~ by insomniac on October 20, 2011.

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