Another Note to My Pride

(7 months later)

Take me back, please take me back…

I feel what a paper must feel after having been through a shredder… with no hope of being pulled back together to look the same as before…

I have willingly endured more humiliation than I thought I would ever allow myself to go through… I am not sure how graceful I was about it all, but I have been told I handled the humiliation and the pain that came with it with admirable grace…

But I am running out of grace and I am running out of threshold for more pain… I need to be wrapped and sheltered and promised none of this will ever happen again, none of it…

I am promising myself this right now, and I am promising you you’ll never be locked in this room or any room … you belong in my heart, just like all the other things that make me who I am, and it was a huge mistake to ask you to step aside…

It was worth it, would I do it all over again, perhaps, but never again…

So I am sorry for thinking I was stronger on my own, turns out I am too sensitive to be left without that kind of protection and no one, no matter what they claim, can provide it…

So please make that pain go away, and take me to a safe place where I can heal.

Thanks.

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~ by insomniac on October 20, 2011.

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