An Aspiration…

I’ve had that song on my playlist since forever; I just love her voice and the way she spells out every word like no one else could…

I never dwelled much beyond the title or the main theme… such a notion to have no regrets over all the things in life; too unrealistic, yet familiar…

I was happy when it played in Inception; like running into an old friend on a crappy day (I don’t mean the movie, the day was indeed crappy)…

And my sister thought it was a great idea to make that song her alarm tune as the movie inspired… personally I thought it would be too loud given the orchestral music, but given how all the tunes of my choice barely interfered with my dreams only to put me back to sleep, I thought I’d give it a try…

The music actually starts out softly as her voice ascends in such indescribable control… it gets too loud, then softens again, and starts escalating again as she starts saying those words…

c’east payé, balayé, oublié

That line gets me out of bed instantly… unless of course I snooze before it gets there… usually I snooze too early while the music is too soft…

So I played it yesterday, listened to every word, every tune… and…

I want to feel that way…

I want to have no regrets whatsoever, to feel peace over everything and accept that it was all paid for, wipe it away, and forget all about it…

I want to be able to want to let go of all my memories, the little things that remind me of bigger things, the feelings, the nostalgia I hold on to… wipe it all and be ok with starting a new clean slate…

je repars á zéro

The way she says it is so… final, accepting, and content… I want that, I really do!

I don’t want my my life or my joy to start with anyone… I want them to be mine, not depending on anyone else’s existence… just mine, all up to me to share them with whoever I want, but within the reach of my hands if there is no one to share them with…

I think that would feel great…

I leave you with the legendary Édith Piaf… No, Je Ne Regrette Rien

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~ by insomniac on September 30, 2010.

One Response to “An Aspiration…”

  1. God bless you!
    very very very well said and felt.
    and Inso…how she sings the letter “R” gives me the chills in the best motivating way ever!
    love u :)

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