My First Diamond

This is what would make me a bad mother –in my opinion-:

  • Blaming them for my own choices,
  • Mistaking my “obligations/responsibilities” as a mother for “favors”,
  • Deliberately hurting  them with my words/actions, or becoming too oblivious to recognize it,
  • Pointing out the “bad traits” they might take after their dad,
  • Emotionally blackmailing them using my “motherhood” or any other reference as leverage,
  • Holding them back/Putting them down from achieving their potentials,
  • Expecting of them Dictating my own expectations/dreams on them, pressuring them for it, and then blaming them for my self-induced disappointment,
  • Stop listening to them, and insisting that they listen to me instead
  • Mothering someone else instead of them because it’s easier

There, my very own motherhood handbook…

~ by insomniac on May 30, 2010.

11 Responses to “My First Diamond”

  1. My father has one parenting technique. It makes all the difference in the world. And this is why I look up to my dad in every single thing and even took his bad traits. He read it in a management book called ‘One Minute Manager’. He used on us: In one phrase:

    “Catch them doing something right”. And emphasize on it. They will do it again and again and again. And when you criticize, mention the good qualities first.

    And for what I KNOW, I believe you are a Great mother, I have seen you not only let your Mocha and Beem play, but you actually Played along with them their own games. You pamper, but you don’t spoil, You listen but you don’t encourage futile arguments. I have seen you teach them principles or qualities that many others overlook!

  2. well i doubt that someone is aware of these points would be a bad mom ever :)

    cause that’s like what kids always ask their moms to do .. grow a self conscious of their actions :) and you have that already :)

    well my mum is a perfect mom .. im always afraid that when i grow to be a mom i wont be like her ..

    the thing that she does best is telling us in public and private how much she loves us and keeps on talking about our beautiful side ..even when she’s mad at us :)

    • thanks cindy :)

      i basically put it out there to be a constant reminder for me, because as aware as one might be, they might slip from time to time when stressed or overwhelmed

  3. I really hope some of the mothers around me read these points. I told you before you are one of really few mothers I know who take their motherhood seriously and work on it.
    rabena yekatar mn amthalek ya benty.

  4. Doori. All good stuff, and I agree with what everyone else said above, but I’m just too lazy to actually repeat it.

    One point I don’t completely agree with is the one about “Expecting of them more…” We don’t really know our kids’ full potential unless we push them to achieve greatness. I don’t know if “expecting” is the right word here, I’m thinking more “encouraging”. That is, encourage them to be the best at whatever they do, and be there for them, if they achieve second-best, then you’ve done your job.

    Just please don’t push them to become “daktoor” and “bash-mohandes”.

    • knowing what you mean, and meaning the exact thing, i edited!! 3ashan tenbeset!!

      and oh my God, you’re so lazy, you didn’t even try to find the right word and left it to me!!

      and naaa, no “daktoor” or “bashmohandes” here unless they actually choose it on their own…

  5. TAGGed niahahahaha

  6. i love this.

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