Another tribute to losing…

I didn’t want to give tribute because I was mad, because I didn’t think he was worth it…

Until now, I am not sure if he’s worth the tribute, or if he was ever worth being a good friend, but the loss I felt when I decided to cut him off is definitely worth it…

I decided to write it down because I know that once I declare it to the world, I will not allow myself to take it back; something I could never do with any of the guys I liked or those who liked me! Sadly, I am doing it to a friend who was good enough not to be in either category… perhaps that’s why it hurts!

He didn’t even know he disappointed me, and perhaps it’s why I was mad at him; that he didn’t pause to consider how I’d feel about what he did if I was ever to know!

I know that in his own mind, he intended no real malice, yet he miserably failed his role as a good friend when he did not bear in mind all the givens and acted only to prove his own philosophies! Instead of being a friend, he behaved like a scientist who wanted to prove a theory; he replaced genuine care and concern with experimenting.

The anger is not just at his action, it’s also because I thought better of him, and because now, there is a void where he used to be, even if we weren’t that close… it’s one more person with his own little specific details that I will miss, and I will feel bad I ever appreciated them to begin with!

I know I am being harsh in a way, but I am too close to be asked more tolerance… as much as I tried, it just feels weird for me now to know that I can never really trust him; it’s best to just let go of yet one more thing all together.

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~ by insomniac on April 22, 2010.

2 Responses to “Another tribute to losing…”

  1. Allah gab, Allah khad, Allah 3aleeh el3awad.
    You are not judgemental, are you?

    • i try not to be, either by tolerating something a couple of times before i decide i will no longer take it, or by putting myself in the other person’s shoes….

      on this one, i tried the second, and it was not good enough!

      so yeah, 3aleeh el 3awad!

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