The Cliché of Love

Why does a four-letter word have such weight?

Yeah yeah, because it holds a meaning much bigger than that, I get it…

But when did the word start weighing more than the meaning? And ironically, how did the weight make it more abundant? Has it become too heavy that people just want to throw it and get it off their chests without considering its meaning and how they should, umm express it???

I am too careful with that word, perhaps I even fear its meaning because I fear its weight would pull me down… so I just silently feel it, rarely say it, and I sort of let it eat me up…

I’m not saying I’m right; I’m just the other extreme…

That was not only meant on a personal level… I am talking about it on all levels, on the level Egypt triggers in all of us…

I never said I loved Egypt, but I probably felt it too much even though I never wanted to acknowledge loving a being/identity/place (whatever it is) that never nourished me or acknowledged me…

I have not yet said it even after all THIS… for what does it really mean that I love Egypt???

I want to see it better. I want to feel happy and fulfilled in it. I want to give it, and not watch my giving going in vain. I want it to give me something back because that’s the core of a healthy relationship; this is how love prospers. So yeah, I do, but I can’t just say it like the mere words are all there is to it.

I don’t want to just say I love Egypt because the words are too heavy for me to carry long enough to act on them… love is HARD, I know that first hand, it gets even abusive at times when you give too much or take too much… it gets cold when you don’t say/ express it enough, but it also loses its value when you over say it and over express it in trivial matters…

It’s still very challenging for me to say “I love Egypt”… I know I do in a way very new to me, but I have serious trouble saying it at the top of my lungs as I see people do! I want to say it with a proof that I do, with a proof that Egypt really deserves my love… and it disturbs me when people overly parade that phrase, and I am not even sure why…

I know I have issues…

But I think it’s something for those who practice the other extreme to weigh their love and find more expressive ways of showing it rather than just saying it and hanging a banner that spells it out…

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~ by insomniac on February 16, 2011.

One Response to “The Cliché of Love”

  1. haven’t u posted anything , off late …..?

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