And the panic attacks…
ABANDONMENT ISSUES!!!!
Yes, it makes sense, I have plenty of those… and it’s not because I had a traumatizing childhood or because I suffered a dramatic loss… I pretty much had a “normal” upbringing, whatever normal is, my losses and tragedies are not extreme, at least not on the physical side…
We all have those issues on a wide scale; we all do even if we don’t recognize them, and we are all affected by them in all our relationships…
But that does not help me the least bit, knowing that I am not alone, or knowing that it’s a collective suffering… it just makes it feel bigger than me, making me feel even more helpless and desperate…
If all those people couldn’t find a way out or a way to deal, how am I supposed to do it?? I personally don’t believe I have more strength in me than the entire collective… so is it all useless? All my attempts to understand, change, and cope are basically futile??
I am trying not to panic, not to jump to my usual defense mechanisms, desperate conclusions, and anger-induced reactions… but this is too big for me to handle, and NO, it does not help at all that I am not alone in it…
You’re right, each and everyone of us has issues. I think it’s best to just accept yourself, as fighting your character is useless anyway…
:(
Ma3lesh ya Merry, tough times never last.
Remember: “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”
Tebat nar tesba7 ramad in-sha2-Allah
:) *hug*
mahowa da el ramad ya rawanie :)
it’s a sad fact i suppose